Controlling Your Emotions

In the very beginning of time when Adam and Eve were in the garden, satan went to Eve with his trickery and not to Adam because he knew that he could play on Eve's emotions. Centuries have passed and we (WOMEN) are still fighting the emotional battle! Satan plays on our emotions and catches us up in so many ungodly situations because we don't recognize his tactics. I don't think that I have ever struggled with anything more than I have struggled with this.

Growing up I never really learned to separate emotion from reality. If I was angry, everyone knew it, if I was happy, sad, confused, depressed or indifferent that was the reality of my situation. It did not matter if the reality was that my emotions were out of control and I was allowing my decisions and judgement to be lead by my emotions rather than being lead by the truth. If I looked in the mirror today and thought I look amazing I would be happy and I would have an amazing day, but if I look in the mirror tomorrow and I look ugly then I would be sad and depressed and my entire day would be a wreck, despite the truth that EVERYTHING God created is beautiful! One day my husband can crack a joke on me and we both will laugh but the next day I may be having a "bad day" and that same joke will make me mad and we will end up arguing over nothing. When the truth is I'm being extra sensitive and he was only playing. There was a time in my life when just because I was happy and felt I deserved it I would spend half of my pay check in the mall without regard to the needs of my household, then when the bills came I would cry and fall into a depressed state because I was "so tired of being broke". But the reality was I wasn't broke, I just mismanaged my money and rather than paying my bills I spent it at the mall.

The last few years have been especially challenging for me. I have endured several major life changing events. Divorce, heart surgery, new marriage, moving to a new state, leaving my children and my job behind, starting early menopause, and having cervical cancer. Talk about an emotional roller coaster!! Every single one of these situations were very real! And the emotions that I experienced with each of these situations were real also! Satan did everything he could possibly do to show me the negatives in every single one of these situations and early menopause and hormone therapy did not help the situation one bit! Of course I could have taken some natural, holistic approach (I AM NOT AT ALL AGAINST THAT) but that wasn't the answer for me. It was deeper than that. Satan plays on our emotions because we don't control them with the WORD OF GOD!

God made us emotional creatures, however he did not intend for us to be lead by our emotions. We must still yield to the Word!! Yes our monthly cycle makes it difficult, menopause makes it difficult, pre-menopause makes it difficult, birth control pills makes it difficult, hormone therapy makes it difficult but the bible says "I can do ALL things through Christ which strengthens me". God will not require us to do anything that He wont empower us to do! Marriages are being destroyed and husbands are being ran off because wives cannot control their emotions. One day up, the next day down, you wake up angry for no reason, depressed and don't know why. Satan is sitting back laughing at us, and our husbands are trying to stay far away because they don't know what to expect.

We cannot afford to be on an emotional roller coaster every day! On those days when your husband isn't being all that you hoped he would be and your emotions tell you to throw in the towel, rather than running into the arms of another man or running to the divorce court remind your emotions of the vow you made before God. Then take a look in the mirror, you probably aren't being all that he expected either! If you are depressed about the trials that you are facing, the reality is that trials come to strengthen your faith and draw you closer to God. Put an end to your pity party and cast your cares  upon our heavenly Father! If you are depressed because of something you have done and guilt is eating away at you, remember there is NO condemnation in God! Forgive yourself, because He has already forgiven you. Let it go and smile again! If you aren't feeling attractive for whatever reason, the truth is EVERYTHING God created is beautiful regardless to the worlds standard or what you see in the mirror! If anger, resentment, bitterness, or hatred are eating away at you get to the source of it! Get rid of it and live, laugh and love again! Because the Word says in Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not hasty in the spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. So instead of medicating your emotions feed them the Word! Be lead by the truth! Ask God for eternal joy! That kind of joy exceeds your conditions. Eternal joy says regardless to what is going on around me I still have JOY! Control your emotions don't let your emotions control YOU! It takes patience with yourself, diligence, consistency, and PRAYER, PRAYER, PRAYER!

Losing yourself in the pain

After getting a divorce from my children's father to whom I was married for 15 years, I found myself heart broken, depressed and shattered. The people that I thought would be there for me weren't, church family treated me like an outsider, my children's father was unsupportive and we were at odds. Spiritually I was dying, and financially I was sinking. My truck was repossessed and after six short months of being in my own home I found myself homeless. Life was not at all the way I expected it to be and I found myself feeling isolated and alone. I had to send my children back to live with their father and it seemed that I had nothing and no one that I could turn to for support. I began to question my faith and the part of me that I thought was dead and buried began to emerge again. Crying myself to sleep became a daily activity and alcohol became my drink of choice. If I could have a couple glasses of wine and sleep from the time I got off of work until the next morning then maybe I wouldn't hurt so bad. Satan had me to believe that I wasn't worthy of God's Love, I was fat, I was undersirable, I was broke, my life up to this point hadn't amounted to anything and I was doomed to fail. I was so good at smiling on the outside and convincing everyone that I was fine when on the inside I was lost in all the pain. My whole life had fallen apart right before my eyes and although I made several attempts to find my way back to Christ and restore my relationship with him, it never seemed to last very long before I was right back in my painful pit.

In October of that year I was reacquainted with my now husband. We had our first date in October and married the following April. I gathered all my things, quit my job and moved from Michigan to Tennessee without a second thought. I thought a fresh start was exactly what I needed to get back on track. Being in Tennessee with no family, no friends, no church family, no church home, no job, no children and married to someone I really didn't know very well only increased the pain, loneliness and isolation that I was already feeling inside. I felt as if I were in a desert all alone! I longed just to feel God's presence but I was so lost in all the pain that it felt as if he wasn't even there. In my mind even God had deserted me. The pain in my heart was so great that I reached the point of wanting to take my life again. "If I could just jump off this bridge, everything will be alright" is what I told myself.

As I stood outside in the sun one day enjoying the view of the hills in front of me, I began to cry and ask God to please fill me with His spirit. I prayed God please take away this pain and emptiness and God whispered that He had never left me alone. All the time I had been living without regard to Him, I was so lost in my pain that I had lost who I was, I had not been walking in my calling or looking to Him to supply my needs yet HE WAS STILL RIGHT THERE! The whole time I had been living on His Grace and His Mercy and I didn't even realize it. It was because of Him that I didn't jump off of that bridge. It was because of Him that I survived depression not once, not twice, but three times. Satan's plan was to destroy me and keep me off of the path God had set for me. God's Love, His Grace and His Mercy that helped me to break through the pain, and lay aside those heavy weights so that I could be what He called me to be.

I had to stand before God broken, open and vulnerable. Acknowledging that all that I needed was in Him. No man, no marriage, no new state or new start could make me whole! I had to shed the hurt, anger, insecurities, self doubt, depression, loneliness, unforgiveness, and resentment and allow God to heal me in His own way, in His own time, through His word and my relationship with him. It was through fasting and prayer that I was able to shed the old me and become a new creature. Once God began to heal me it was only then that I could look back and see how satan had clouded my mind, and clouded my judgement and caused me to lose sight of the path that God had laid out for me.

To my sisters who are hurting; sometimes that pain is so great and the reasons for that pain are so real, but our God is a healer!! He doesn't just heal sickness and disease but he will heal your broken heart. Psalms 147:3 says "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds". It doesn't matter how great the pain is or what you've done that makes you believe you deserve that pain! God is standing there with His arms out stretched waiting to pick you up, restore you and place you back on the path He has set out for you! Remember there is nothing that you can do to stop Him from Loving you and there is nothing you can do to deserve His Love. Just give Him your whole heart! Don't get lost in the pain, let faith and fasting, prayer and praise be your weapons against the enemy's attack. Be encouraged my sisters I am praying with and for you daily!