A Guide for the Single and the Divorced- My Story!

After 15 years of marriage I found myself divorced, and the last thing I wanted was to be married again. Married for the first time at age 18, I was 33 when I got divorced, and I needed time (I felt) to figure out who I was. After all that I had been through I wanted time to heal, learn to Love myself and time to focus on my children. However there are two scriptures that stand out in my mind: (Isaiah 55:8 KJV) For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. And (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. If those scriptures are any indication you'll know that God had a completely different plan for me than the one I had for myself!

Although separated for quite sometime I was only officially divorced for one month before being re-introduced to the man God had for me. In our very first conversation we both established that we only wanted friendship and whenever I visited Tennessee we could hang out. As you might have guessed already, things very quickly changed from friendship to relationship! From October to January of the following year we became very close and were dating exclusively. I was terrified on the inside because I did not want to be married again! And marrying him meant moving to another state, leaving my job and not having full assurance that my sons were going to want to go with me. My husband had a 4 year old daughter and the whole concept of being a step mom, being remarried and moving away from all of my friends and family was much too overwhelming. But I loved him and I didn't want to be with out him either!

After giving things ALOT of thought, and talking to my parents and talking to my children I was still torn, there was only one thing left to do; FAST AND PRAY! Now when my dad and mom were dating and my dad wanted to know if my mom was his wife or not he asked God to show him through sickness and sickness only, so I decided to do the same!  I was sitting on my bed one day in early January and I said ok God here is what I'm going to do. I'm going to fast and pray for 21 days (to show my sincerity) and I want you to show me IN SICKNESS ONLY if this is my husband or not.

21 days passed, then 30, then somewhere around 45 days I was going up the stairs to my apartment and by the time I reached the top of the stairs I couldn't breath, I experienced numbness in my left hand, and pain in my chest and left arm. After the doctors ran several tests they discovered that I had a large fluid filled cyst surrounding my heart. If you have ever seen or drank a liter bottle of water that's how much fluid filled my chest. The doctor told me they had never seen anything like it before. All could I think was here is the answer to my prayer!

You see marriage is not a joke! It isn't something that should be taken lightly. And I couldn't afford to waste any more time outside of God's will for my life. Now certainly everyone does not have to go through the extreme measures that I went through, I had to have a rather painful and intricate surgery, it took me well over 30 days to recover and I have scars on my body that will never go away. But regardless to the consequences I HAD TO BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT I WAS IN LINE WITH GOD's PLANS FOR MY LIFE!

If you are divorced or if you are single desiring to be married the importance of seeking God first is one that cannot be stressed enough. Don't waste your time, don't waste your life, don't cause your self unnecessary hurt, heartache, drama and pain trying to play matchmaker on your own. I knew my husband for 6 years before we ever dated. The first time we met he was married and so was I, and we never really had much of a conversation outside of me buying a DVD from him to teach my son how to play piano. Never in my wildest dreams did I think we would be married! But God new the plan that he had for my life a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, a plan to give me hope and a future!

The past is gone, place your present and your future in God's hands. Let Him orchestrate your life! He can do it so much better than we can because He really does know what is best for us! He knows more about what we need than we do, because He knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows what and who we need in our life to help us do what He has called us to do. His thoughts really are not your thoughts, neither are His ways your ways!

Love you always,

Charity