Losing in order to GAIN!

So often we have heard the saying you have to lose in order to gain. We often apply this to dieting or weight loss methods. Losing weight to gain better health. Or we apply it to relationships in the physical realm. Shedding negative people or relationships in order to make room for positive people or positive relationships. But I propose that we apply this to our spiritual relationship with Christ.

The Apostle Paul was a very poignant example of giving up everything so that he might gain Christ. Paul said: But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; (Philippians 3:7-10 KJV) Paul took all his degrees, his knowledge, and his accolades and counted them all as dung, as trash, that he might gain Christ. He wanted to KNOW Christ!

I think about myself and how I thought I knew Christ because I was born and raised in the church, I went to church 3-4 times a week, I was a preachers kid, I didn't wear pants and didn't do this and didn't do that. But that wasn't knowing Christ! Because in all that, I couldn't forgive my enemies, I didn't love as Christ commanded me to, and as long as I thought nobody saw my sin I thought I was saved. I often tell my husband I used to know what love was, now I know what love does! I thought I knew Christ but it wasn't until I lost a lot of things that I came to truly KNOW Christ!

Not only did I leave my job, my home, my hometown, my children, my family, and my friends. But I had to leave sin behind! I had to lose my self righteous attitudes, perceptions, thoughts and ideas, my self righteous emotions, feelings, habits, principles, and ego. As well as some relationships and some intellect and qualifications that I thought made me who I am! My husband and I NEVER could have made it this far if we had not gotten rid of our individual egos, perceptions, expectations, self righteousness, so called knowledge, ideas and principles and made room for Christ to dwell in us and in our home. As long as our home was filled with our way of doing things Christ stood on the outside of the door waiting for us to let Him in.

Sometimes our fine house, car, bank account and Ivy League education aren't the only things that separate us from Christ. It's sin! It's time to give up our self righteousness! Our habits, emotions, addictions, ideas, attitudes, perceptions and egos need to be lost and counted as trash so that we can gain Christ! God wants to posses and dwell in our entire being! And he can't reside in us if his space is cluttered with self righteousness! Some things just don't matter when compared to the benefits of knowing Him and gaining eternal life!

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. (Philippians 1:21 KJV)

Meet Gwen Owens-Relationships Start With You

Meet Gwendolyn Owens, founder of Relationships Start With You. She is another living testimony of God's power to save, heal, deliver and use us to bless some body else! Gwen started Relationships Starts With You out of a desire to help women who are struggling with low esteem, poor body image and unhealthy relationships. Here is her story….

I was married for 14 years and my ex-husband decided that he no longer wanted to be married to me. Needless to say, I was in shock. I begged him to stay for the children but that was not an option. I cried a thousand tears. I was angry, hurt, disappointed and numb. Did I do something wrong? Am I not attractive anyone? I felt that my life ended that very moment. I went through depression and withdrew from my family and friends. All I felt was pain. My life spiraled out of control. Was I not good enough to be loved by him?

I eventually moved in with my parents. The adjustment of being an adult child going back home was rough. I was disappointed and felt like a failure. When he would pick up the kids, I would look out of the window and cry. My family unit no longer existed.

I was going through the motions. My children needed me but I struggled to be a good mom. Again, all I felt was pain. I cried out to God and asked, “Why me?What have I done to deserve this?” I would read a scripture every night and place my bible under my pillow. I asked myself ,”how do I go on?”

I was a junior in college and it took everything in me to get up in the morning, get dressed, take my teenage children to school and then head to class. I cried every time I went to my New Testament class (a pre-requisite at the private college I attended.) and at the end of the course my professor said to me,”Whatever you are going through, if you release the pain, then you can allow God to heal you and make you whole. I cried all the way to my car.

One morning my dad came in my room and said, “Baby, you have to pull yourself together and let go of the pain. You have to move on so that you can continue to raise your children. You all need each other.” I heard him but it did not penetrate in my spirit. I wanted to know how God allowed this to happen after all, my children and me would pray every night for him to change his mind and return home. My children were devastated and I could not fix the problem.

As the years went by, I thought that I had forgiven him, But, if my children came to me with something negative or a thought flashed, or someone would pass by wearing the same cologne, the pain would resurface. I finally reached a point that I was ready to truly forgive him. I cried but it was not from pain but tears of joy.
I allowed God in and He touched me and made me whole. Fifteen years have passed and today we are friends. I forgave him because I wanted to move on with my life and I no longer wanted to suffer.

Today, I am happy and whole. In 2008, I met a wonderful man who swept me off my feet and he is my best friend. We married June 20, 2009 and I packed up, said my goodbyes and moved to Atlanta, Georgia.

I promised God that I would be transparent and help others who are going through the same thing. God is love and He know what’s best for us. This is how Relationships Start With You came into conception.

You can heal and forgive from a relationship break-up. I did.

Follow Gwen and Relationships Start With You on Facebook at www.facebook.com/relationshipsstartwithyou also check out her blog and website www.relationshipsstartwithyou.net and www.gwenrelationshipsstartwithyou.wordpress.com

Daily Prayer for WOMEN

Most Holy and all wise God, first God I want just say thank you for all you've done and for all you are doing through this ministry. Today I come before you on behalf of every wife and woman that is connected to this page. God I ask that you help us to be exactly what you have called us to be. Give direction God where there is confusion about what your will is for our lives. God cast out insecurity, remove doubt, calm emotions, break addictions, heal every manner of disease, where wombs are baren, God make them fruitful. Increase faith, restore joy, and help us love and reverence our husbands as you have commanded us to. Empower us with your spirit, helps us recognize satans vices, and open our ears to your voice. Bathe us in your anointing, give us confidence to speak over ourselves and the words to speak life into our husbands. Give us patients to wait on your timing. Convict and convert the hearts of our sisters that are lost, and rebuke satan in the name of Jesus! God I thank you and I praise you for I know your love has no limits. Although we are flawed vessels we are your vessels, use us for your glory alone! In Jesus name I count it done!

GOOD INTENTIONS!

Has your spouse ever done something that hurt you and made you feel unloved? But after discussing it you discovered that was not at all the intention behind his action. My husband and I are from completely different worlds. Where I'm from almost everyone has a hidden motive. Trust is hard to come by and you always have to listen for the hidden meaning in a persons words. If their actions don't line up with the words they speak then it is assumed that they don't have your best interest at heart. My husband on the other hand comes from a place where everybody helps everybody. They will give all they have to help you, even if it means they go lacking. And you better take it! The only motive they have is love. I'm from the big city where you ALWAYS have to watch your back and he is from the small country where EVERYONE has your back. Our individual culture and environment colored the glasses we view the world and EACH OTHER through.

My husband always sees the good and gives everyone the benefit of good will and doesn't expect that there is any negativity unless it is expressed. My environment wasn't conducive for me to catch the revelation of goodwill, so when my husband does something that doesn't line up I automatically look for the negative intent.  Understanding good will for me meant that in my relationship even though my husband may do things that don't seem like he loves me or feel like he loves me I give him the benefit of good will because I know his intention was good. God gave me a God fearing man, one that strives daily to love me like God commanded him to. And while his actions may sometimes miss the mark, or I may misinterpret his actions, that speaks to our flawed being and not to his love and good will or good intent towards me!

Think of it this way, we are created in God's image therefore we carry his DNA. When we accept Him He gives us a new heart (His heart) and a renewed mind. So we take on God's nature. God's intention toward is always good. It doesn't always look good and it certainly doesn't always feel good but it works for the good!

Giving my husband the benefit of good will is huge for me. It changes the color of the glasses I view him through, it's a complete change in perspective! Just imagine how many arguments, hurt feelings, and emotional roller coasters can be avoided by having this perspective. Rather than automatically seeing the negative and being hurt, this perspective automatically says, even though that didn't seem loving I know he isn't trying to hurt me. Then I can go to my husband and say I know you have good will towards me but when you did what you did it didn't portray your intention so can you tell me what you meant by what you did. <<< That's a game changer! Because it closes the door to arguments and negativity. It's one more way to take away the vices satan uses to come between husbands and wives!

We often don't realize how our background and environment shapes us and causes us to react to things in certain ways. I can't stress enough the importance of being completely open, free and flexible to God. Don't be boxed up and rigid and unwilling to change. Just because you've been doing something a certain way all your life doesn't make it right. When God gives fresh revelation allow it to penetrate your heart and change your perspective. You'll be blessed beyond measure.

"Good intentions don't always produce good behavior! Make every effort to let your actions portray your heart"!

Have faith in God! Whatever you do DON'T QUIT!

A few posts ago I talked about asking God for confirmation that the man I was in a relationship with was my husband. I fasted, I prayed and I asked God for a sign to show me if this man was for me. God confirmed that he was indeed my husband and we got married. I couldn't have been happier because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was God's will for my life, and nothing meant more to me than being in God's will.

Time past and the honey moon phase ended far sooner than I ever expected it would. My husband and I were from to completely different worlds and we couldn't agree on ANYTHING seemingly. The arguments grew worse and worse and the tears flowed more and more! Never in my wildest dreams did I expect for things to be this way. I kept fasting and I kept praying searching for an answer. Then I began to question if God truly said what He said. Was it my imagination? Did God truly confirm that this man was for me? Did I miss something? Am I going crazy? Why would God put me in this kind of situation? I was doing everything God told me to do why was he punishing me? Why wasn't he answering me? Why would he send me here and leave me by myself? I had so many questions and NO answers.

I was at the end of my rope and I was ready to go and God said very clearly "...having done all to stand, STAND THEREFORE! There was no mistaking that He was talking to me or what He said! God began to speak and ironically He used my husband to enlighten me. He said why would you pray for something, and God bless you with it and show you that this is His will for you and then you abandon it because it didn't meet your expectations? 

Many times we look for God and when He doesn't come the way we think or, in the amount of time we think He should, we give up and throw in the towel. God knew exactly what He was doing in choosing my mate for me. God knew my personality, my comfort zone, and my unrealistic expectations that didn't line up with God's Word! God took me out of my comfort zone and aligned my thoughts with His Word. But He never could have done that if I hadn't taken my eyes off of my situation and placed them on Him and what He was trying to do in me. I am willing to bet that I grew more in two years than I have in my whole life. And that growth prepared me for this day. I almost gave up! I almost abandoned one of the greatest blessings of my life, but I thank God for the ability to hear is voice and a willingness to obey! 

Growth doesn't come from everything being smooth and easy. It comes from friction, trials and trouble! The good news is that God has a purpose and a plan for it all, and that plan works together for your good! Furthermore regardless to what it looks like, feels like, or seems like God said He will NEVER leave you or forsake you and never means never!! 

Go through the storm, go through the test, go through the trial, whatever you do DON'T GIVE UP!!! And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. (Galatians 6:9 KJV)

A Prayer for the New Year

Today I pray for marriages! God first begin with husbands and wives individually, give us a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within each of us! Remove stoney, rebellious, spiteful hearts and replace them with hearts of flesh, filled with your Love, your joy, your peace and a willingness to obey your Word and abide in your will. Then God restore, refresh, renew, and re-energize our marriages. Increase our faith God and draw us so close together that no air can come between us! Cast out abuse, anger, hurt, pain, depression, infidelity, thoughts of suicide, neglect, debt, financial lack, unforgiveness, sickness and disease! God I thank you right now for all you've done and everything you are about to do! I speak it, declare it, decree it and count it done in the precious name of Jesus!