What is Love?

What is Love?

The Love that God requires from us is defined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

--Boy is it ever hard to get this one perfect every time, Unless of course you have a perfect relationship where nothing ever goes wrong. What I have found is that we cannot do this of our own human abilities. It takes the ABSOLUTE POWER OF GOD!

Who can hurt you worse than someone you deeply love, cater to and share your bed with. Our flesh says if you hurt me I should and will hurt you back. And because I'm hurt it hinders my ability to open up to you, serve you, submit to you, or give you the love that God has commanded me to give.  As women we are so much more emotional than men and satan uses our emotions many times to blind us and keep us from hitting the mark.

Love has NOTHING to do with the way we feel! And for those that think it does I challenge you to dig deeper into the Word. Our emotions and feelings are based on what's happening! If you and your husband are still in the honeymoon phase and you're still feeling bubbles and butterflies and life is good then you'd probably say " You're SO IN LOVE". But what happens when your Love is tested, the two of you are at odds, and you can't agree on much of anything, money is low, and stress levels are high?  What happens when he cheats on you, or lies to you or does things to hurt you emotionally, physically, or mentally? What happens when he makes you feel oppressed, suppressed and depressed? What happens when the good doesn't out way the bad? How should love respond? How much should Love take?  For as long as I can remember when ever I am hurt by someone I love my first defense is to shut down. I don't want to talk, I'm going to protect my heart at all cost so being open and vulnerable is out, all laughter, acts of love and affection cease.

But there comes a point in your life when you have to take a look at yourself and do what I like to call a growth chart. In other words just because I've always done it doesn't mean I should continue to do it especially if it does not help a single thing and it is contrary to the Word of God. Jesus hung, bled and died on that cross. He was beaten with a whip that had nails in it, he was given vinegar to drink, they pierced his hands and feet and placed a crown of thorns on his head for sins that he didn't even commit ALL OUT OF LOVE FOR US! Can any one of us say that our Love has endured that much? Should we have to endure that? How much of ourselves should we sacrifice because we Love some one?

It's easy to say I love you but when it comes time to act it out that is the true test! 1 John 3:18 says My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. As it is written in 1 Corinthians 4 God's standard for true Love is high! And just like forgiving those that have hurt us we can not Love the way he told us to without his Power! It just can't be done. When my husband and I first married he really wasnt as sensitive to my feelings as I would have liked. He's a very manly man and he has a suck it up and take it kind of attitude. My feelings were always getting hurt and I couldn't understand how he would say some of things he said or respond to my hurt the way he did. Here I am in a new state, away from my family, my friends and my children and I was lonelier than I have probably ever been in all my life! My flesh said don't walk,  but run back to Michigan, but God's word said Love endures. How would I ever know God's power to change the very fabric of a human being had I been ruled by my flesh. Through prayer and fasting I watched God change my husband right before my very eyes! Through enduring Love and obedience to God my faith was taken to a whole new level, and isn't that the objective? We GROW from faith to FAITH!

This is why we cannot allow our emotions no matter how deep and authentic to rule us! We must reach the point where we recognize satan for exactly who he is and what he does. As long as we are blinded by our emotions we cannot Love as God commanded or demonstrated. Share your love stories with me. Lets encourage each other and win the battle against satan.

Have you forgiven him yet?

Many of us grew up believing that Prince Charming would come and sweep us off of our feet and we would live HAPPILY EVER AFTER.... and then reality sets in! After the honey moon is over we realize that marriage is work. It's a daily, conscious decision to remain committed to someone no matter what. Women have such a hard role to play because even when our husbands fail, and we disagree with the decisions they have made we still have to be supportive and encouraging and not bash him or beat him over the head. But what happens when that failed decision or poor judgement call deeply and negatively effects your entire household. What happens if you tried to express to him that it wasn't a good idea to begin with or perhaps he went behind your back and secretly did something that caused your family great pain. And now that the consequences of his actions are upon the family you still have to smile, be supportive, protect his ego and pick up the pieces. All the while inside you're angry, disappointed and hurt!

Do you do what my friends and I call stacking? Where you stack up everything he has ever done to hurt you and hold on to it? Or do you forgive and move on?  I can honestly say that I do NOT get this one right every single time. Some things cut so deeply and are much more difficult to get over than others. But I reach a point when I have to FIRST, go back to my vow and honor it. I didn't just make a vow to my husband but I made a vow to God and before God. And the longer I hold on to whatever it is that is hurting me I give it more and more time to grow roots in my heart, and those kind of roots will choke out the love that is trying to grow and flourish. SECONDLY, I have to remind myself that I am in no way perfect (Read Psalm 51:1-19) yet God loves me still. And not only does he love me but he forgave me all those years ago when he placed his son on the cross to die for my sins. And THIRD, I stop and think, satan is seeking any opportunity possible to come between us. If he can make my husband out to be my enemy in my mind then our marriage is destroyed. Now I don't know about you but I have enough enemies without adding my husband to the list. So l have to ask-- have you forgiven him yet? Perhaps this prayer will help soften your heart....

Father I come acknowledging what your word has told me to do. You said that I must forgive in order to receive forgiveness from you. God I ask that you heal my broken heart, remove the events from my mind and focus my attention solely on you. You know and understand my hurt, help me through the process of forgiving and letting go. I lay my burdens at your feet and I cast all my cares upon you. Help me to not allow satan to use this to come between my husband and I. Touch my husband and help him to seek you everything that he does concerning us. Bind us together in your love and help us to be living testimonies of your power in Jesus name I pray Amen.

Trust me you'll see this topic again!

FIGHTING satan WITH THE WORD!

As woman of God we are often overwhelmed with being a wife, being a mother, some of you work full time and we also have a plethora of religious duties that we are obligated to complete. Often times every ones needs are placed ahead of our own. When do we stop and deal with our own issues. Some of us are burdened with so many things; low self esteem, unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, anger, out of control emotions, heart break, loneliness, confusion, depression, insecurities, lack of sexual desire, self hate, jealousy and many other things. Satan uses these things to stunt our growth and prevent us from realizing just how much God truly loves us and just how powerful we are when we walk in the authority that God has given us.
I struggle daily with depression. Satan knows that if he can get me to slip back into depression he will keep me from being all that God has called me to be. And because satan is so wise I never lean to my own understanding but I fight him with the word of God! I ask myself a few questions.  1.) What is the lie that satan is trying to get me to believe today? 2.) what is the truth of the matter? If satan is trying to get me to believe that no one loves me or that I am unloveable then I ask, 3.) What does God say? God says in Psalm 100:5 (New Living Translation) For the LORD is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation. St. John 3:16 (King James Version) For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. And the final question 4.) Will I believe satan's lies or God's word?
The next most powerful weapon I use to fight satan is prayer! I begin to pray Father in the name of Jesus please remind me today just how important I am to you and just how much you truly love me even though I do not feel loved right now. Help me to know without a doubt that I am just as important in your kingdom as any of my other brothers and sisters in Christ, and your love for me will forever be faithful and true regardless to my flaws, insecurities, short comings or current situation. I thank you right now father for wrapping your loving arms around me and being the lifter of my head. Replace my sadness with joy for you said in your word that "the joy of The Lord is our strength" and without strength I am unable to fight the deceiver we know as satan. Comfort my heart in the name of Jesus, Amen!
Once I have prayed I begin to give God the praise because that is where the joy comes from. When you are feeling down you'll be surprised at how lifting your voice in song, clapping your hands or praising through dance will lift your spirit and cause satan to flee. Perhaps you are struggling with depression or some other burden, share with us how you fight to stay lifted. Or perhaps you are struggling and need advice on how to make it through, please share your issue so that we can be an encouragement to you!

My Journey

Growing up a preachers kid I was always told and I believed that I would marry a preacher, that I would be a missionary, and that their was a great calling on my life. Married at 18 with two kids by age 20 it wasn't quite what I had imagined. I struggled to see how God could use me because my life was so off track and I had wasted so much time. I found myself struggling with depression and fighting to stay alive. But at that time I just figured I was emotional and missing my family back home. With two children to care for, a home, a husband and trying to live my life in a way that pleased God I put my hurt, disappointment, insecurities, self-doubt all on the back burner so that I could be everything to everybody. I wanted to be very sure that I was the best wife, mother, and Christian woman there was all the while on the inside I was falling apart. After my (then) husbands time in the military was complete and we moved back home I just new that things were going to turn around for me. I went back to school full time, worked full time and took care of my family! Working in the church to the best of my ability and doing what I believed God had called me to do. Moving back home proved to be one disappointment after the other. My (then) husband and two children and I lived with my parents in a two bedroom apartment for 6 years. The embarrassment, the shame, and the guilt ate away at me. How could I have such a promising future at 17 years old and end up this way. Why wasn't my husband making better decisions for our family? What was I doing wrong as a Christian to live such a disappointing life. The news of my third pregnancy rocked me to my core. After trying unsuccessfully to get my tubes tied and being on birth control the thought of having another baby sent me into one of the deepest holes I've ever been in. And to top it off I was fired from my job at the hospital because I couldn't fulfill my duties do to my pregnancy. The depression set in once again. And the attack of the enemy was so great. How is it that I'm a child of God and I ended up here. God doesn't love me, I'm unloveable. And how will he ever forgive me? Needless to say one disappointment after the other I was diagnosed clinically depressed for the first time. I remember lying in my bed sleeping for days just so that I wouldn't have to face life. After 15 years of marriage, three children, infedility, and a repeatedly broken heart I found myself divorced. My car was repossessed, I was homeless for a short period of time and I was broke. I thought sureley there was no hope for me at all! God didn't love me or he would never allow me to suffer this way. After several months of standing before God broken, open and vulnerable and seeking him with my whole heart I began to realize that even in all my mess, my sin, my depression, my flaws, my RELIGIOUS WORKS, God NEVER LEFT ME! Even in times when I felt completely alone and abandoned he was there! Even when I had a me, myself and I attitude and I wasn't thinking about him he was right there. My steps were ordered and he knew exactly what I was going to do before I was ever created in my mothers womb. I was a broken mess and sometimes I still am but God had me to GROW thorough so that I could witness to some one else who may be going through. I just want this blog to be a blessing to women every where. Let's talk, let's share, let's uplift and encourage that wife, that mother, that sister that is struggling to keep her head above water. As wives we have so many burdens to carry around yet we are expected to keep it ALL together. Let this blog be a place of release and relief.  Please join me and invite a friend. Share your stories, ask questions or post a prayer request. I look forward to chatting with each of you!
Love always,
Charity