What is Love?
The Love that God requires from us is defined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
--Boy is it ever hard to get this one perfect every time, Unless of course you have a perfect relationship where nothing ever goes wrong. What I have found is that we cannot do this of our own human abilities. It takes the ABSOLUTE POWER OF GOD!
Who can hurt you worse than someone you deeply love, cater to and share your bed with. Our flesh says if you hurt me I should and will hurt you back. And because I'm hurt it hinders my ability to open up to you, serve you, submit to you, or give you the love that God has commanded me to give. As women we are so much more emotional than men and satan uses our emotions many times to blind us and keep us from hitting the mark.
Love has NOTHING to do with the way we feel! And for those that think it does I challenge you to dig deeper into the Word. Our emotions and feelings are based on what's happening! If you and your husband are still in the honeymoon phase and you're still feeling bubbles and butterflies and life is good then you'd probably say " You're SO IN LOVE". But what happens when your Love is tested, the two of you are at odds, and you can't agree on much of anything, money is low, and stress levels are high? What happens when he cheats on you, or lies to you or does things to hurt you emotionally, physically, or mentally? What happens when he makes you feel oppressed, suppressed and depressed? What happens when the good doesn't out way the bad? How should love respond? How much should Love take? For as long as I can remember when ever I am hurt by someone I love my first defense is to shut down. I don't want to talk, I'm going to protect my heart at all cost so being open and vulnerable is out, all laughter, acts of love and affection cease.
But there comes a point in your life when you have to take a look at yourself and do what I like to call a growth chart. In other words just because I've always done it doesn't mean I should continue to do it especially if it does not help a single thing and it is contrary to the Word of God. Jesus hung, bled and died on that cross. He was beaten with a whip that had nails in it, he was given vinegar to drink, they pierced his hands and feet and placed a crown of thorns on his head for sins that he didn't even commit ALL OUT OF LOVE FOR US! Can any one of us say that our Love has endured that much? Should we have to endure that? How much of ourselves should we sacrifice because we Love some one?
It's easy to say I love you but when it comes time to act it out that is the true test! 1 John 3:18 says My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. As it is written in 1 Corinthians 4 God's standard for true Love is high! And just like forgiving those that have hurt us we can not Love the way he told us to without his Power! It just can't be done. When my husband and I first married he really wasnt as sensitive to my feelings as I would have liked. He's a very manly man and he has a suck it up and take it kind of attitude. My feelings were always getting hurt and I couldn't understand how he would say some of things he said or respond to my hurt the way he did. Here I am in a new state, away from my family, my friends and my children and I was lonelier than I have probably ever been in all my life! My flesh said don't walk, but run back to Michigan, but God's word said Love endures. How would I ever know God's power to change the very fabric of a human being had I been ruled by my flesh. Through prayer and fasting I watched God change my husband right before my very eyes! Through enduring Love and obedience to God my faith was taken to a whole new level, and isn't that the objective? We GROW from faith to FAITH!
This is why we cannot allow our emotions no matter how deep and authentic to rule us! We must reach the point where we recognize satan for exactly who he is and what he does. As long as we are blinded by our emotions we cannot Love as God commanded or demonstrated. Share your love stories with me. Lets encourage each other and win the battle against satan.
Wonderful post Charity...
ReplyDeleteI must say that I learned a lot from it and it confirmed some things too. I believe I'm in a test of "Love" right now. And you are right, when things are going good, it is easy to love but when they go bad, it is a HUGE challenge. Especially when someone claims to love you yet you feel that their actions are saying otherwise. I am learning to be lead by the spirit and I am also learning that no one or nothing on this earth is perfect. I believe that if something is ordained by God, then He will empower me to endure it. Otherwise, I need to leave it alone. So I am waiting on more confirmation to see if I should move forward or not. Please keep me in your prayers!
I will certainly continue to keep you lifted in prayer B! One of the things I've learned through all of this is not to lean to my own understanding. God has given us the standard to go by. The characteristics of Love are written in His Word. If those characteristics are not being exhibited then it isn't Love. Love you sis!
DeleteOften we must look at our love relationships for what they represent. God is the author & finisher of everything, which states he has the ONLY word on when something ends or begins. It is my belief that when our love is tested, it's not up to our mate to pass to our standards or vice versa. The test of love is orchestrated by God to test how much we love Him. Will we draw close to Him when our relationship is in trouble or will we flee? Will we pray more or curse more? Will we forgive or give up?
ReplyDeleteEvery test & battle is spiritual! We must know it isn't our mate that we are fighting, IT'S THE DEVIL! Never lose sight of who the enemy is.
We often have good reason to be upset or discouraged with our marital situations, but I often say we should reflect on the fact that things could be so much worse. Yes, he may have a problem showing us love & affection regularly, but he could be showing love & affection elsewhere & not coming home to you. He may not communicate as much as we would like, but he could be knocking you upside the head to get his point across. We must be as patient with our husbands as God is with us. Handle EVERY situation with love as our guide.
That's awesome advice!
DeleteYou're absolutely right. Thank you. Satan is busy trying to break families apart.
DeleteHi I am new to this blog and thank Gog for it. I've only been married 2 1/2 yrs 1st marriage at age 45. My husband is also male shovanist and kinda insensitive uses harsh words and cusses a lot hurts my feelings and say suck it up, get over it. He only do for me when I dance to his music. He hinders me in the ministry always complain about EVERY thing. We've gone to counseling several times each time he was told that he was very controlling and unfair to me but he say they(counselors) don't know what they're talking about and don't see any reason to change. I've been praying what am I to do. Will ourprayers be hindered cause we are one?
ReplyDeleteSis I am really sorry that you are having to go through this after waiting so long to find your mate. The word says Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV) so the responsibility is on him to honor you. Unforgiveness will hinder your prayers. Whatever your husband has done or is doing to hurt you you have the responsibility to forgive him and don't let anger and bitterness fester in your heart, because you can't afford for your fellowship with God to be broken. PRAYER is essential in your situation and to be honest I would FAST and PRAY that God will convert your husbands heart. GOD WILL DO IT!!!!! I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT HE CAN!!! Don't you dare give up and don't you dare let satan make you think you are alone! You are not alone! God is with you and I am hear to support and encourage you. Trust God with everything you have sis! I promise you he won't fail! Your husband will be won with your chase, Godly lifestyle, you don't have to say a word to him! Love you!
DeleteHi. I am new here. My best friend has been following you for a little while and I decided to read today. I have been in tears since I started. I am one of those women that let my emotions control everything. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am the first to admit it. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when I was 14 years old. I have been married 11 years and we have been through every test imaginable...drug addiction, infidelity, separated due to him being in prison, etc. But we always end up right back together. After all the pain and all the trials, my love for him is still too strong for me to walk away. We are currently separated due to financial problems but my heart is still his. I recently found out about more infidelity and lies being told for over a year...but my heart is still his. People say that I am too forgiving when it comes to him, but I cannot help it. I love him too much not to forgive him. But I have come to a point where I realize our marriage is the definition of insanity. We continue doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. I finally see that in order to get a different result, we have to approach it differently. I am currently working the Power of a Praying Wife. As well as Stormie Omartian's book "Lord, I want to be whole". I have only been on these journeys faithfully a couple of days, not enough time to see any change yet. But I do feel differently. I feel more optimistic and I feel that God is on my side now whereas before I felt as though the entire universe was working against my marriage. Thank you for your posts. I am only this far in after starting at the beginning and you have already opened my eyes to a few things that I did not know or realize.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much sis for reaching out to me. I am sincerely praying for you that God will make you whole and that he will restore your marriage and make your spouse whole as well if that is God's will. I realize this cant be easy for you, but in God you will find all the strength you need to go through.
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